Good Day my fine friends today’s picture was from one of my entrepeneural ventures which was a foray into the world of Haute Couture and here you see my highly acclaimed corset and crop-top combo designed to instill confidence in otherwise sheepish chaps who might as a result of a shallow society be lacking in this department.  

I had engaged my fine pal here to masquerade in this splendid manly model despite his respectable physique as tis a common industry strategy to make spurious claims of effectiveness and in all honesty, despite his usually not too retiring nature, he was in deed imbued with a new confidence level of such an escalated height that he boldly claimed such garb would banish any air of gloom in a less than effervescent type as a result of its liberating effect. 

Truth be told the line was so successful there was an apparent onslaught of applications to catwalk model academies in the four corners of the globe as it had transformed so many otherwise-humdrum lives and cantankerous characters

I feel quite a moistening of my opticals on pondering upon the letters of sheer gratitude I received from unfettered fellows who may now proudly sport in a dandified manner a pair of retro slacks of unlimited high-waist due to a new trim and attractive girth.

The corset, or girdle, as yes, I believe in impeding not the individual character so you may all be free with your vocabulary, why you might even care to check a thesaurus and bandy a new title, was the subject of rave reviews due to its Herculean restraining powers that would tuck in a tum of most portly protrusion yet surprisingly provide a most snug and comforting fit and had the most tenderly tactile gusset known to man.

Well I digress, so back to my pal, he had paraded around with his spirit free for my marketing purposes and as such effected to shampoo a wall to wall carpet of no less than 80% wool content with a nifty little gadget particularly for such purpose and was gloating in his new braggart state that he noticed not the unsightly ruck in said carpet left there as a result of the service of an inefficient tradesperson disgruntled with his lot as supposedly professional fitter of such floor coverings and suffice to say my boasting buddy went head over heels to an undignified and injurious fate.

Well I had thought the screaming would never cease but eventually he managed to coherently state he would be litigating for a princely sum but I quickly issued him with his personally signed contractual agreement and policy of insurance that I had thankfully had the foresight to enforce upon him and pointed in a precise manner to the section he had apparently negligently ignored no doubt through sheer idleness to not muster up the botheration to seek out a glass of magnifying type to read the mere 120 pages of expressed terms and conditions waiving all liability no matter what unfortuitous consequential event occurred whether through fault of my own or not, why it was tantamount to as if he had indeed stated ` Misfortune, bring it on!`

I imparted to him that I failed to see why I should be the victim of discrimination in not reaping my own selfish advantage of admittedly such unfair, `but so what the worlds tuff type`, terms when all other practices of commercial and warranty type do so.

To conclude I said tis best to draw a veil over this unfortuitous event and harbour no ill will, and suggested both parties merely put the misfortune down to experience.

Well I impart to you the good public, gird yourselves for the renaissance launch of my girdle for gluttonous gents.