This was indeed a truly bizarre day I had been out for a morning frolic among the lush green God given grass and was busy gambolling hither and thither and simply basking in the sheer luxury of this apparently bizarrely unfashionable un-luxurious pastime, when I was halted in my tracks of rampant gay abandon with such suddenness it did jar my constitution and I had to momentarily find a suitable sturdy support whilst I did compose myself.

Much as, when a rather luvverlee laydee doth arrest and retain my attention, so did this frighteningly fetching non laydeee lad which caused the afore-referred to disruption to both my pleasure and pleasurable person.

Why! the young gent, yes!  he was topped with a derby hat so that warrants the merit for such title to yours truly, was indeed fashionably styled in an individual and admirably bold manner, a tad too chunky in the trunk as yes he was indeed quite wide of girth but surely only to the most shallow would this be of accountable concern and I believe in all honesty twas the fault of the bulked and fleecy nature of the arresting attire as non can deny that fleece despite its blissfully comforting quality, which when worn is akin to being lovingly buffed by host of heavenly cherubim using kittens as tangible trade tools, can play illusory havoc with the personal form.

Well I was truly intrigued with this fine gent and further intrigued by my own intrigued-ness with this fine chap and even further, if it be possible to have unlimited intrigued ness, was intrigued as to where I had seen him before, there was a vague familiarity, was he the usual potato dusted grocer whom did vend lush and nutritious fruits but now surprisingly all spruced up spick an span or perhaps he was another Star of variety entertainment like yours, perplexed, truly, it was on the utmost tip of my tongue ‘I know I know this chap, I know I know this chap, I know I know this chap’ but no I could not recall.  oh! what a completely complex and perplexing messing with my mental state,

Well all this pondering was far too taxing on my fatigued brain I so decided to merely partake in some jovial banter and approached him to pass complimentary comment on his maverick style when I noticed    Nay!   was near hypnotised by a bewitching trinket Why! I swear it did move and therefore could not avert my most disobediently inquisitive optical organs.

Now I hold up my hand in confession that Yes! perhaps I was a tad too forward but I lay blame in all entirety on the hypnotic effect of the said trinket that the aforementioned forwardness did compel me to reach to touch the arresting article but the dandified cad did bound away without so much as a congenial ‘how do you do‘.  

Well to say he was hindered by this, amazingly lightweight, though cumbersome through its polar piled bulk, garb, he did run with expeditious and admirably aero-dynamic leaps and bounds and would you believe backwards to boot.  

Why I boldly declare he did nothing but taunt me for a few hundred yards and I have to confess I now maintained the momentum of the chase with the sole intent of bringing about an onslaught of static attack as I cunningly deduced the friction from the fleece of fashionable attraction and dryness of the fine afternoon might well shock this bounder with a much deserved intermittent bout of manipulatively induced voltage vengeance and so intent was yours, relentless, truly, that I did not anticipate the sudden stoppage of the sprinting style icon.

Now as yours truly was mid, quite magnificent, momentum I did career headlong into the still jeering jesters chesty region and was surprised when my face did nest,  Nay!  burrow deep in its piled and comforting mass and I did instantly note the lack of, one would anticipate, harsh rigidity of the florally styled filigree neck-let .  I removed and composed my person from the treasured chest to note the whereabouts of the cause of all this kafuffle but lo and behold what witchery was this, there agaiin it was and I trulyswear it did wink and mock me, well yours, by now had enough, truly was once again plagued with uncontrollable inquisitiveness and I confess did non too politely lunge and grasp the fleecy scruff of the cads neck but again the trinket was goneas I could not feel its metalled affect and would you believe to compound the magic the bounder conjured up from out of nowhere and set upon yours, truly vexed,truly, a feral beast.

Well I was determined not to let the bounder free as now there had transpired a criminal assault Nay! Worse, battery, and I in outright retaliation shook him with a ferocious and forcible fist whilst his agile aid did further sink fangs and talons everywhere about my, unrelenting to yield, person and there we all remained a bizarre and brawling, howling and shrieking rolling rotation of retaliation

I think the attack might have proved fatal if another savage but thankfully canine beast had not unwittingly come to my aid by deciding to sport with his coveted cat, so the fashionable but definitely discourteous dandy and his feline fellon did hot foot it with my saviour in tow and would believe the dandy still did run backwards to continue his taunt of my good, but now livid, self, well! not to be beat I shouted

‘well your fine filigree trinket might be of floral appearance you fop but its fragrance was definitely fecal yes most foul HA!