Good day my fine friends.  Today you see the, almost, appalling plight of my pet pal here, thankfully yours, quick witted, truly stepped in just in time to offer salvation.   No! there’s no need to admirably gasp “What a hero LemMe! or offer a patting of me fine back, I swear ‘twas nothing, just my moral duty to both my pal and the unsuspecting, almost horrifically assaulted, public.

Well, I flew to his aid armed with nothing more than the aforementioned wit, a permanent marker and a piece of extremely robust card, as I had deduced mere paper could have been a flop, literally, and then my good self may have then been branded as perpetrating party in aiding and abetting this pet's plight.  I, just in the nick of time, protected his overexposed intimate bits that my cat chums cad of a human, cowardly, yes! note the bounder shamefully avoids detection therefore culpability, decided that for nothing more than want of a mere jest at this otherwise cute expense he should display to all and sundry his devoted kitty`s chortle-worthy portly protrusion that resulted when said cat was suspended in a comically manoeuvred grip.  Chortle, why tis enough to cause all evidencing parties to embark on a guffaw fest resulting in bodily wounds as they topple and tumble about clutching their own, glee riddled, girths as this violated victims usually slender feline figure is the prey of ruination by what appears to be a displacement of
bodily innards.  

Yes internal workings have apparently distended and dropped into a complete baggage of bits, no doubt aided by a gluttonous feast of, by the size of the evidence, the family pup, bunny or fish complete with bowl, all would be highly nutritous so therefore I would assume there be no cause for alarm. 

This however, out of his control, expose was not what catapulted shame upon his person, as why, tis his own physique to ruin as he pleases, no! twas the inadvertent exposure of the blush inducing unmentionables.   Why yes, both my good self and my cat chum were aware the t’inteweb is awash with filth and none bat an eyelid but my wholesome pet pal harboured no notion to wallow in such, but was, you cannot deny, entirely incapacitated as to an avoidance of such a spredicament.  Note particularly, his big bonny blue optical organs do they, in all honesty, belong to the willing party to a public, yet ironically private, exposing.   Well I had felt it was my moral duty to intervene, until I apparently fell foul of a foul bodily innard blunder due to my downwind location so hopped and left the ingrate to his fate and ill-favoured trifling with his feelings.