Good day my fine friends in today’s picture you can clearly evidence the result of a bruise-by baby-bounder infliction upon yours truly.    I had, during my daily constitutional, been about to embark on hastily by-passing a beachy shore as granular locations and all their activities hold no alluring charm or enticement for myself since my best-forgotten
sun, sand and scorch shenanigans, when I was, I bitterly regret, distracted by the said bounder participating in the perpetration of the ruination-by-demolish-means of the sandy, architectural endeavours of the casualty you witness in the background.

Common sense fair screamed `LemMe! wend homeward bound without delay you buffoon` as there had been numerous newsworthy articles of disastrous interventions by Samaritan types but curiosity, that coaxing cad, lured my naturally, and tas been publicly declared overly, inquisitive nature and carried me, protesting not-a-jot, towards the kafuffle.

The owner of the once splendid but clearly not-too-strong-hold was in a state of distress at the loss of his property and so I turned to the castle-kaput culprit who still clutched the evidential spoils of his spoil in order to boldly boast as braggarts are wont to do, of his beachy booty.  The cast upon his infantile face was not of cute but rather cocky composite and I therefore, I now realise foolishly, informed him “Why I’m not entirely sure if tis a shenanigan of the sun or if you harbour a rancorous disposition, I am inclined to hope tis the doing of that old scoundrel the Soleil and not the deliberate fault of one of such tender yeawmhpp wnmpp thpmbw".

I was incredulous to, and gagging from, the fact the cad had forced me to feast on a knuckular lunch with a gritty dressing.  I thrashed hither and thither about with the sole aim of sand-sandwich-survival when the infuriating infant performed a rather deft leg manoeuvre and yours truly chased down my seaside snack with a desert-type desert.    A  further calamity occurred in the form of optical interference by, I, to this day, swear and challenge all whom deny it to a most tough tangible encounter, boulders and shards of glass of gargantuan type.   Consequentially, through careless attent to this tiny-tough-type’s intent, I was as already deduced gagging and unable to utter a guttural sound and, to boot, I now blundered blindly about the beach amok all its pain-inducing-pets, debris-de-cads-and-wastrals and most pain-inducing pebbled parts.  

By the time I had secured a safe distance from the teeny terror I was engulfed with ebbs and flows and carried bobbing, sinking, bobbing. sinking, a fair way out on the briny but not before I had garnered quite a collection of the aforementioned pets of clinging, crustaceous and excruciating type

My howls went unheeded due to the crashing of the tumultuous waves,and cruel visions of ogre-ous seabeasts feasting merrily away as they whittled the very flesh off my, exceptionally handsome but not too meaty, good-self, did inhabit my minds eye and compound my hellish predicament.   Today this day I know not how, on Gods good earth, exhilaration is derived from battling this mighty and wrath-riddled element as my only resulting high was a nervous tic to the top of my right brow that rears its intermittent state whenever I hear the words salt, sand and sea therefore I had to steer clear of even the most innocuous occurrences including, but not limited to, eating houses with sodium based gratuities, builders merchants and folks with a fondness for show-and-tell-type tales as the last time someone said “look see this” within my close proximity I curled up in a corner and babbled like a baby and such neonatal activity did bring about a further recall of the bambino bounder and perpetuated my psychological problem which on relating this tale does threaten me with its presence so I shall bid you a good day my good folks.