The Imprisoned Primate Pent Up Palaver

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Good day my fine friends today’s picture is of my good mate, professor and primate who appears to be partaking in a petulant miff the reason for which I will relate.

The picture was taken from my days when I was the renowned maverick professor Knutt Job and I had wangled access to a laboratory that was allegedly performing unethical practises on primates and pets of domestic type and yours truly was bent on emancipating them from the clutches of these immoral bounders. In performing this act of benevolent type I unleashed a right old can-o-worms of consequential responsibility and to this day I still endeavour to rid my pal of his 60 a day chemically derived ciggy addiction.

Well no sooner had I arrived at the place de perpetration, I heard my name being called “LemMe Out, LemMe out, LemMe Out“. I thought `botheration! is there any private harbour that my luminary self can find away from the public eye to practise my private deeds` when I started to chortle at my faux pas when I found a caged beast calling out, not as I had erroneously assumed for my good self but, for his naturally-expected state of freedom.

I unhinged the cage and no doubt an unhinged soul and well after a tangible moment of spiritual bonding and a, rather disturbingly, comforting embrace my new found friend appeared to embark on spree of crazed frenzy and caused such a kafuffle that the bounder boffs did return and were set upon by my chum who in his deranged state sank his dentates in said boffs bodily parts until blood was let and then my primate pal appeared to dither hither and thither amok the lab pausing only to replenish his, as was becoming apparent, medium material for creative purpose, of ironically boffin blood, necessary for expressing his accumulated experiences of his enslavement.

Well some few dozen bites and 2 hours later he had portrayed his 3 year hell and mans inhumanity to man in a wall to wall mural that fell somewhere between Basquiat graffiti and a Michaelangelo fresco and that deserved a title of said fresco as although the canvas was not of freshly prepared plaster the material for depicting both his and his peoples plight was brought about by bite in a seconds fresh state.

“Why! Oh why! did you not halt the poor anguished animal” I hear your incredulous cry, well frankly, I was transfixed to a hypnotic state at this angst soul pouring out his personal portrayal of inhuman perpetration and well call me a coward if you must but blood spillages of my own type do bring about a faint and without doubt primate dentate insignias about my person would wreak permanent havoc upon my handsome visage and perfect physique and I had calculated the distance between my person and a passage to safety could not be executed with the necessary speed and inconspicuous state.

Well suffice to say all's well that ends well, we remain to this day friends bound by a bond of spiritual brotherhood. My pal was made a honorary professor for a number of reasons including his, albeit unwitting, contribution to science and autonomous (yes tas been argued he was out of his mind) contribution to the arts and due to the fact that it transpired for his entire confinement (any stronger word does bring about such a disturbance that all, yes hands up even my self, do fear another art attack) he meditated, focussed on and visualised his release to keep his spirit raised and assimilated such a degree of boffin type talk he was educated to a level of equality and was bestowed with a honoury academic status and all charges of assualt dropped due to extenuating circumstances.

To this day he wears always the silvered links evidenced above about his person as a symbolic reminder of his enslaved state.

Sadly for all his new found fame, luminary status and global respect he lacks in the department of love and yours, in cruel to be kind fashion, truly did inform him that twas due to his dental lack. He was sadly and unfortuitously relieved of his laughing tackle, which had apparently not been used for such in the past years, by a boff who miraculously managed to muster up enough strength, despite his diminishing life-giving hemoglobin to deliver, on ironically the final bite, a blow about the maniacal monkeys weapons of mass destruction. Well I informed my gummy chum that his gingival state is, due to a shallow society, a potential bar to any wooing success and he turned and affixed his loomingly large moistened opticals upon myself and said "LemMe, tis a never ending blight of a nightmare, as I cannot embark on dental correction until the practitioners of such cease to be garbed in clinical attire and stop brandishing surgical tools, therefore despite my newfound fame and freedom I fear any thought of love must be forsaken and without love LemMe what is there.

Well I have to stop my friends, I find I falter and cannot proceed as I am overcome with emotion but not before I inform you my forlorn friend spends his time educating his clan in the thereputic art of painting for pleasure and I am hasten to add with acrylic, oil or water based materials only.
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