Good-day my fine friends.   Today’s picture is another from my pre entertainment archives, yes when I was an eminent pioneer of intergalactic gadding about and traversed the highways and byways of the stellar galaxies whenever my determined will or impulsive whim did desire, surviving many a shockwave from shattered Supernovas and assaults from super terrifying Storm Troopers.  My original time-dodging contraption was created through necessity when reckless malfeasance wreaked havoc upon my holographic map of Cosmic convenient commuting,-The Wormhole Wizard therefore putting paid to quick trips t'totherside, necessitating another expeditious and charted mode of galactic gallivanting.

As you can clearly evidence my next craft was a lavish blinged up I.G.G.A C. built in retaliatory one-up-manship on the cad who did purloin my previous pre-organic-patentable-period plans for my home-grown-mode of meander, yes a Dr chappie Who-se name does escape me, as did the same-said-cad in MY time tripping transporter that he tea leafed inspiring me to craft a superior craft, the misappropriated one having fallen foul anyway to negligent blunder which rendered its form-changing capabilities caput.    Well as you can see said craft gad a gilded coat and was initially covered in its entirety with gems of precious type but on my inaugural visit to your rascally planet a bunch of fingery villains did help themselves to my ostentatious outdoor décor.  

This uber-suped-up version had an internal extension of an enormous and enviable arena for the holding of conferences, exhibitions and balls in order that I not only out-size-in-internal-size the unscrupulous Doc but that also whilst on a said whim of worm-deprived wend, I could reap a significant bit of fiscal booty by hiring out said arena for intergalactic events why I have in kerchingable coffer covet, hosted events from balls of fanciful dress to competitive canine championships yes my exceptionally handsome head is not just a hat rack my friend it is a ceaselessly conniving concocter of said-coffer chasing creation.

On the afore-referred to inaugural and blighted by blighters trip to your blighted planet trip in 1966 I was visiting my superhero friend the famed and caped crusader he of rather bold but fetchingly lycra-clad cad-chaser character and his little ruddy-breasted aid of rather admirable agile ability.   Well when I arrived I was of different form to what you are familiar with these days, yes I was an enviable slender beautiful being of chiselled cheeks and oozing alien type ice rays but I fell foul of the artic-pet pretender and arch foe of my caped comrade and was subjected to his de-and-re-hydration horrors and whilst rendered into dusted particles fell foul of an atishoo attackand and was reinvented in the host form you are familiar with and bestowed with barmy brain whereas as the real moi is parading about as the ultra-super-beautiful prolific, innovative. eminent, rock Godly holiness David Bowie who leaves in his, and in what should be my trailed, wake, legendary genius of nonpareil and a global craving for attataining cheekbones, well in his favour he did make passing reference to my goodself in the greatest ever classic, Starman.

On my second voyage to your earthly orbe in 1968 I was paying a visitation upon my good friend The Spindrift captain Steve Burton, another intrepid traveller who through either negligent or tad too cocky attitude in the course of careering his craft did find himself thrust inadvertently in wormhole wend on his way to the home of craftee cockernees, London from Los Angeles and was left high and dry on a planet of colossal cads, yes 72 ft terrorising types, from which he never returned much to my relief as he was another chiselled cheeked chappie and now mine were parading around under the pseudonym of David Bowie I did not wish to have enviable sight of such coveted cheeks thrust upon me.

Well on the visit you witness above I and my luvverlee assistant did land on your planet inadvertently in the big fruit, large apple, giant plum whatever, pre its clean up days and to curry a bit of favour among the local infamous fiends I did purchase and sport this fetching headpiece from a sidewalk vender of patriotic wares, but no, twas a waste of endeavour and precious dollars as an unruly mob did cause offence and covet, not too wholesomely, my companion of cerise coif and and we preferred an encounter with the said storm troopers and other intergalactic banderos so did try to obtain a refund for my hardly-worn-gesture-of-amicable-attire but all I obtained was further abuse so we departed without delay.