As you can see from the pictorial evidence of the pretty, sun-basked,idyllic location we had readily, perhaps far-too, thought the day did bode well for our childhood chum fishing expedition.   Armed only with a bag of bitted bread for which to bait, nets for which to scoop, and swinging string strung jam-less jars for which to transport, our coveted and anticipated but only of tiddler type, booty we had embarked on said expedition.

To fortify the trawler trio we had, to be divided equally amongst, one large bottle of Aqua Libra, which had already begun to stir up fractious debate and all were near at loggerheads due to its none too efficient and undesired by all, portability factor.  Deposited within its liquid depths and adhered to its glassy base in a supposed but unsuccessful,   Nay! stubborn refusal of any, attempt to liquefy were 5 pieces of liquorice for the purpose of transforming the bland bottled contents to a beverage of questionable taste and yours, ever hungry truly noting the stubborn but luscious spice, did hope that I could at least retrieve it to help ease my already griping innards.   To complete the picnicky pack we did possess only 5 peanutty buttery sandwichy treats which I have to declare did cast an uneasy feel upon my person that it did portend a forthcoming non too friendly debate as to how best divvy up  in equivalent allocation between our trio of chums and had expected that if anything this would be the reason for a near fisticuff incident.

But no!   What transpired was a traitorous chum attempting to trick all by conjuring up, with as much wizzardry surely as the potter protégé or his magical mates could muster, a couple of not mere tiddlers but almost pythonic piscine prizes.

Well yours, the king of, and definitely not liking to fall foul of, dupe, truly can smell, not in the manner of I suspect these at least 3 day old suspicious fishes did but, like a baying bloodhound, when there is skull-duggery afoot and so did loudly proclaim that I declare a good measure of duplicitous shenanigans.   ‘J’accuse you of perpetrating some kind of contractual barter with the local monger of fishy edibles and do believe an attempt to perform some kind of fishing fakery has taken place.  Why we have fished and fished and even further fished in this infertile stretch without so much as a tiddlers nibble and have deduced tis filled with nothing but chemical concoctions and yet here you port and gloatingly display two monstrous sized bites, why the guilt is evidenced all in you’re your wily face and I for one cannot bear to look upon the shameless display, why tis enough to make a glass-eye cry, the disappointment on our comrades face, and I do further declare that if you! you  clearly fibbing fiend, had truly caught these fish it would be nothing short of a miracle and I hasten to add of far more gigantic proportion than the five loaves, two fishes one from days of yore

You! my reader friends can sadly do nought but bear witness to my mini, usually charming I assure you, mate who is looking madder than a wet hen, march hare and the renowned makers of  millinery all rolled into one unified mass of madness  and yours, the matey mediator, truly did best try to tell my young pal to let it lie, that tis the pleasure of partaking that is of important account but I fear that went straight passed his petted lip, ducked between his death ray stare and straight over his furiously boiling head.

I turned to the traitorous trawler and said ‘tis indeed a foul and duplicitous deed and I must caution you are likely to lose your fine childhood comrade, as to him it appears as far as chums are concerned, there are, and to coin a phrase, plenty more fish in the sea And further stated that.

"THAT NO DOUBT, IS WHERE ALL THE BLIGHTED BITERS HAVE GONE AND THE REASON THERE ARE NON IN THIS TOXIC TRICKLE! YOU! ONCE CHUM NOW CAD!".