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  PICKLE! -
Understatement as I
recall. Twas nothing less than a full scale disaster for two
thirds of concerned parties whilst the remaining third was not only
catupulted heaven bound but practically to fame.
Fatigued
by my lengthy dusty journey I had stopped to rest my now calloused feet
when I espied a, even to yours usually immune to cuteness truly,
pretty little donk type pet.
There was said, pretty pet, standing patiently whilst being dutifully burdened with his daily load. I, kindly soul that I cannot help being, decided to offer a nutritious, refreshing and surely welcome snack to dobby. Having purchased from my own coffers such a mouth-watering carrotty snack that I was momentarily tempted to feast upon the juicy booty myself, but no I proffered the delight to dobbin, muffin, donk whatever! unfortunately for yours truly at that precise moment, FATE ! that sometimes benevolent, sometimes cruel, master, had decided to partake in nothing lest than a tomfoolery fest, casting mygoodself in a most undeserving role, no doubt karma for my momentarily near selfish lapse on yon carrotty stick. The industrious owner of the donkey'd conveyance had obviously and most intelligently decided to utilise his limited space for maximum benefit, clever chap! but sadly there has to be said that there, as is clearly evidenced, is a fine line to be drawn betwixt cost efficiency, skilful precise art of cargoed equilibrium and, impending catastrophe. An officious bystander may have forseen the causally linked threatened calamity involving, the at initial glance said admirably achieved business efficiency, the slight physique of patient pet, and yours, soon to be airborne, truly, unfortunately all bystanders appeared rendered senseless by the burdened airborne beast. As a result of lack of aforementioned bystander I found that as carrot made contact with donkeyed chops, that my good self was simultaneously heaven-ish, ooookay! give or take a good few miles, bound, Eeyore was thankfully, frozen in shock and jaws locked in vice like grip, as had he had either spontaneous, involuntary or any other kind of muscular reaction he might have bitten clean through the once snack, now lifeline. Thankfully said frozen donkey state also ensured no dreaded attack of river-hoof upon my extremely handsome face, I tried best not to visualise the flailing hooves doing such a tap-dance upon my person lest I bring this into being. Well the crowds gathered and the good vendor and yours truly were well and truly out of the picture in the ensuing kafuffle, there were giggles and guffaws at the donks plight there were tears for said donks plight there were cries for help for donks plight it was all donk, donk, donk, 'twas absolutely incredible, the beast, not only been bestowed with the good fortune of `aawwww look at me I am a pretty pet, he had to go and have fame thrust upon him whilst yours, by now miffed, truly, and the unfortunate trader were catastrophized. After the following frenzy of mainly mule directed attention, muffin decided to bask in his glory and relaxed, yes! unfortunately enough to muster up enough muscular action to begin the mastication process on my tenuous lifeline and yours truly fell, with precise Newton -esque prediction, and with, not being bestowed with further pet, to be precise- catlike capabilities, disastrous results. Not one sole did note my plight, NO! Muffin donk saw to that, well 'twas with mighty effort I managed to lift my battered head, but, I was sadly afflicted with a limp dead-arm through loss of blood coursing through its lengthy limb during its skybound state and I was sure I was in possession also of snapped legs. I laboured bravely in my prone position out of the growing throng as fast as my one good arm could claw, I passed the vendor on the way, told him I bore him no ill-will as I could see he was as blighted as mygoodself by all this and assured him that should blood manage to course back to my empty veined limb in sufficient time I would be more than glad to assist in rectifying his plight.  |
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