Good day my fine friends

Today’s picture is a recent holiday snap, yes I was on a long overdue vacation from my exhausting schedule as Superstar of variety entertainment with sole purpose of pleasuring the public and as such my need for a tranquil sabbatical was tremendous,    I beg your pardon!   Nay! you need beg mine, in order I might forgive your implication I fib about my need for a period of exemption from duty.  I assure you ’t’ad been why, nearly a month, since my last such excursion yes tis overly exhausting being such a superstar why even mere celebs do suffer such affliction of fatigue.   I have it on good authority that most afficted with merely Celeb status do exist in perpetual state of fatigue brought about by feafulness of ridicule if perhaps they negligently sport `last weeks` handbag or are unfortunately snapped in the glossies next to, dare I speak it, a figure of lesser celebrity alphabetically rated scale, and why should there be a spoil-by-soil scuff on a pair of Choo shoes they have to be discarded for fear of unfavourable talk,  Yes the life of entertainer, whether such is by means of a talented or tedious trait, is tough. You non-luminaries don’t know your born.

Well I was quite perturbed perambulating around this what I had expected to be luxury resort and was chuntering to myself `by gum heads will roll for this blatant marketing misrepresentation,  I was incredulous to the fact that such blatant practise of such abominable shiftiness exists in the world of commercial transactions and I was determined to use my Superstar status to kick up a kafuffle and bandy both my name and my, light due to careful tend of my fine physique, weight about for such blatant robbery of my coffers and I was even more determined to ensure all responsible be brought to task, why a Star of my calibre should be enjoying this appalling holiday gratuiously, no pay, for free,  Nay! paid to be here, tis an appalling way in which to treat a Star.` 

In my fuming state I chanced upon a person partaking in a pastime of piscine type for either professional or recreational sport and I readily presumed said chap was just another vacation victim and did decide play a prank and impart some  fibbery to salvage my rapidly diminishing pleasant mood which was now casting a murky shadow of gloom about my person well said prank was practised and I was midst chuckle and girth-gripping glee, hee such larks, when all of sudden I did notice that said chap did not sport the appearance of one whom might afford the luxury of even this unluxurious vacation I therefore passed more than a cursory glance about his attire and inclined towards him in order to nestle against his person to surreptitiously feel for bulked objects of materialistic and technical type that might throw into dubious question his now quite apparent implied state of lack,

No there was no gadgetry to be found, not even last years why surely far too cumbersome and mockworthy model of mobile, with my furtive but quite thorough frisk therefore yours truly now felt quite a cad why this chap is fishing through fiscal lack in order to sustain and nourish he and his no doubt hunger ravaged, possibly ricket ridden dependant kith and kin.

On inquisition of said chap it transpired it was indeed so, yes this was no luxury fishing espedition for frivolous recreational purpose no it was non other than a fortuitous forage for fodder in hopeful advantageous gain by exploiting this blatent highway negligence and transportation trap.    Well I was horrified in fact so much so I nearly gagged yes I thought I might have to chastise yon fisher of all things foul if any more than a dry heave occurred, but then such chastisement would add to this mans woes which would in turn escalate my guilt, why twas no more than a circulatory torment of the most vicious type, but folks no matter what their station or circumstance cannot be allowed to inflict a retch-worthy incident on innocent members of the public.  But to selflessly push my own plight aside this fellow man was fishing in non other than sewer spew for aquatic treats well twas more likely fecal fragments not piscine pieces to be found why this was no more than a cholera quest and I shook the man with forcible endeavour and said, "Have you no access to T'interweb, why tis amok with tales of sewer shenanigans, good grief at any moment now, so I gave a cautious wide berth ahnd stepped  a pace back, a reptile of alligator type might lunge upwards and grasp your person in his voracious jaws and thrust you violently about in an attempt to submerge you until in lifeless state in order that make his feasting banquet one of ease, yes not all sewer tales have such Hollywood glitzy Teen Turtle Type endings,  no!  more than a goodly number do result in afflictions of virulent plague"  but now my fear of all things fecal was uppermost in my mind so I left said chap to fish for amphibious reptiles of wicked nature and textured hide, Ninja crustaceous hero’s among his foul fecal riddled fish bereft oasis.