A fine day to all my friends

Well today’s picture was one of my numerous forays into the world of art, being a Star entertainer and therefore as such not being satisfied with my lot but not having the nose nor notion for launching my own perfumery product I decided to brand my talent not merely tout my brand and so bless the world with my works of art contented in the knowledge the public can never get enough expose of an entertainer or mere celeb’s habitual or publicity practices, whether they like it or not, so I give you the privilege of the viewing of one of, my surely priceless, correction definitely pricey works of art.

I contemplated on executing works of art inspired by, tat,  tabac or bits of beast as such have had considerable kerchingable success but decided not being a subscriber, and not just because of the expense, to the utterly determined suicide-at-leisure-lot that partake in the pastime de fumee I had no ready access a sufficient quantity of tab-end type materials unless I wishing to forage for the butts among the debris bedecked sidewalks but thought this would inadvertently attract undesired publicity due to my Star status so unselfishly and considerately left this stunt to a needy celeb.   I chose not to create an installation of carved up calf as due to the hike up of inflation and the
spurious supermarket extortionate racketeering I considered said beast, especially pre-hacked and preserved in clinging film rather than formaldahyde would fetch a better price at a hyper mart, I had also auctioned all my tat so had not a sufficient enough amount to fashion a decorative piece therefore all things considered I decided to create a New Avant Garde movement and redefine and redirect the boundaries of artistic endeavour back from the ridiculous towards a semblance of sublime artisan skills.

So due to not too much calling for ceiling couture and my perfectly rational fear of heights and inspired by my favourite artistic genius the great rebel Anthony Hancock I decided to the reinvent the chisel as a fashionable medium tool of choice and decided to revive a classic art form often seen at fetes and fairs by indie artists, The Whittle and so this
piece-de-master was executed through my wood period when I would enthusuastically and often inadvertently whittle anything that was stationary for sufficient period of time and in the mode of the legendary mouse-man and delinquent juveniles I have carved a goodly number of my insignias into airport, restroom and dining room table legs among other inanimate objects sufficing my artistic needs sufficiently enough due to not having the time nor inclination to execute full works due to my shallow star ego ensuring I have an indolent not too practical existence of merely bestowing my exceptionally handsome features at every available opportunity with as little other endeavour as possible upon the goodly and gullible public.

Well I found my muse for a life portrait, but chose a naturally, not au-natural, clad subject as I seek to be patronised appreciatively for an accomplished artisan exposition rather than an all bodily bits unbarred and barren expose therefore the turn out was not brimmed to capacity but was of only discerning not voyeuristic tastes but I still flogged the piece for an undisclosed sum and gratefully received two commissions, one a for lifesize likeness of a family member with a bent towards a rock n roll icon and a set of irregular shaped salad bowls so I conclude to say twas an absolute success.